Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. ~P.G. Wodehouse, A Mixed Threesome, 1922

The What If Golf Story Golf Jokes What if you were playing in the club championship tournament finals and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes. You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin. Your opponen...

(When asked how the putt breaks) It breaks towards the center of the earth when it is above the hole.
~ Brian Weis

I was asked by a golfer how to lower his scores. I replied start playing 9 holes instead of 18. I worked for me, it cut my scores in half.
~ Brian Weis

Bad Sausage and five bogeys will give you a stomach ache every time.
~ Miller Barber

That divot is so deep, I will need a sod cutter to fix it.
~ Brian Weis

May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.
~ Ben Hogan

The older you get, the easier it is to shoot your age.
~ Jerry Barber

There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.
~ Lee Trevino

My golf game's gone off so much that when I went fishing a couple of weeks ago my first cast missed the lake.
~ Ben Crenshaw